Monthly Archives: March 2018

The weight and clutter of beliefs we carry

“When we carry a belief, it has a certain mental weight attached to it . . . The heavier the investment—such as religious loyalty, abortion, politics, patriotism, good versus evil—the heavier the weight of belief.”  —Neil Kramer in The Unfoldment

In my work at a local library hundreds of books pass through my hands every shift. Most times I don’t pay too much attention, except to note where to place the book correctly. Sometimes a book stops me and says, “Made ya look!”

This week it was The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter, by Margareta Magnusson. I have not read the book yet (if only I could read every book) but I gather the principle is this: clear out your crap before you die and make someone else clean up your mess.

I’m sure Margareta is more polite about it.

Speaking as someone who has had to clear up some such clutter, I endorse the idea. And I think we can go a step farther and clear out some of our mental and emotional clutter too.

In his book, The Unfoldment, Neil Kramer talks about the cluttery weight of beliefs we carry around with us. Some beliefs weigh more than others depending on how invested we are in them. Casual or lighthearted beliefs, like believing a four-leaf clover might bring us good fortune, are light and don’t bother us much to tote around. If we add on a lot more of those little beliefs (knock three times, don’t turn the calendar page until the new month starts, don’t step on a crack, don’t shave during playoffs, don’t wash your lucky socks . . .) the pack gets lumpy and awkward.

Big problems arise when we lug around sandbag-heavy beliefs. Those become a real burden because, even though carrying the weight is hard work, we don’t want to set those burdens down.

“Strangely, the heftier the belief, the more proudly people will sometimes bear its weight. If someone has carried a belief-anvil for 40 years, she is not going to react too kindly to someone telling her that it’s been totally unnecessary. All that effort and martyrdom would have been for nothing. So people hold fast to their own obstinacy, mentally staggering around under this peculiar encumbrance.  —Neil Kramer in The Unfoldment

And a disbelief can be just as heavy. “Disbeliefs require the same maintenance, egoic investment, and channeled consciousness as their positive counterparts,” Kramer writes. (So that’s why so many atheists look like they are a day past a good bowel movement.)

I think we need to think about death-cleaning our minds, clearing out the clutter of beliefs we shouldn’t pass along for someone else have to deal with.

Lately I have found myself avoiding conversations with certain people on particular topics if I know they carry a heavy belief, or if I know I do: Politics is a mine field, the #metoo movement has pitfalls galore, and even Easter has potential for controversy. I’ve started to think, “I need to lighten up.” The weight is getting heavy.

The benefit of death cleaning, I suspect, is keeping only that which serves life, for the benefit of health and happiness and the good of others. Sounds good to me.

four-leaf-clover

It was fun when my daughter found this four-leaf clover, but I don’t REALLY believe it brings us good fortune.

 

 

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Our responsibility not to be thoughtless jerks

More than four years ago I read a post on the Matt Walsh Blog entitled, “If I can’t accept you at your worst, then maybe you should stop being so horrible.” I made note of it and set it aside as a “someday” topic.

Someday has arrived.

Matt’s post is long but it boils down to, we have a responsibility not to be thoughtless, hurtful jerks. He refers to the quote: “. . . if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”  

I picture in my mind a person speaking that line.

I see an indignant person off-loading responsibility onto others. I see a person unwilling to try harder to accommodate and collaborate. I see a person who doesn’t believe she needs to give her best because we’re all supposed to accept the hurt and confusion caused by her actions because, well, just because. I see a person who doesn’t believe he needs to think before he acts, speaks or writes.

More than ever our news sources, our social media feeds and our conversations with each other need a healthy dose of thoughtful foresight. More than ever we all have a responsibility to ask, “Is it kind? Is it necessary?” before acting, speaking or writing.

More than ever we need to stop being horrible.

http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/01/23/if-i-cant-accept-you-at-your-worst-then-maybe-you-should-stop-being-so-horrible/

 

 

What is success? Let us Celebrate

What is success? Cars? Money? An interview with Oprah?

Or could it be moving a finger, or taking a shower? 

The definition of success changes with every person, or even with every person on a different day. We have the challenge of learning to see our own version of success and celebrate it without comparing it to others, to be proud of each accomplishment.

Here is a link to a reflective talk entitled “Let Us Celebrate” presented by my friend, Lynne, who has a mental illness and has had to redefine success for herself. The fact that she stood up and made this talk in front of a large crowd is something HUGE for her to celebrate. Preparing for it and processing it after took a lot of effort. Please do yourself a favour and listen.

Let Us Celebrate

And here is the short video she refers to.

 

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